The Faces of Friendship

A recent event in my life makes me take a moment pause.

Passion.
Action.
Reaction.
Chain-Reaction.

The Universe escalates.

A loud cacophony of noise, with two choices...

Headlong into a crescendo of resolution and a chord of harmony
...or the slow guttural death-rattle of dissolution and entropy.

"Zeal, without knowledge, is the sister of folly." --Sir John Davies



Emotions make us do stupid things. We are merely human; its to be expected, honestly. The more passionate we are about something, the more inclined we are to do stupid irrational things concerning it, even if, in retrospect, its not the best course to preserve that which we are so passionate about. This gets particularly brutal when good and close friends are involved, especially when they discover that they may now be standing on opposite sides of the fence.

Imagine your best friend right now. Go ahead, do it. You got time. Shit, all you are doing is reading a Blog o' Frost, so you must have some time to kill. Just work with me for a minute, ok?

Imagine this best of friends to you. Now, what vibrations and sense of being do you get when you think of them?

Trust, perhaps? Surely you must trust them. Hard to be best of friends if you feel the constant threat of betrayal, yes?

Safety. Side effect of trust, true? Fact is, you should be completely disarmed when it comes to the best of your friends. Best friends have your back, standing beside you when the rough weather threatens to take you down.

Acceptance? Surely, another, more separate concept to apply to the best of friends. One can and should be their natural innermost self, with no walls or masks to create a barrier or deception between the them. I mean, if you have something to hide, then you aren't the best of friends, right, because obviously, you cannot trust that person to be completely honest with them?

These are two very strong feelings concerning what would be the best of friends. Like a doctor, a pledge of doing no harm comes into play. As one gives, so one expects to recieve.

As it should be, if it were a perfect world.

But its not. And this is the flaw in human relations. We see in others that which we see in ourselves, or think we see within ourselves...

It is this simple act of transposing oneself onto another that explains many ills between humans.

Its why cheaters always accuse their lovers.
Why a liar never takes someone's word for it.
Why a thief never leaves things out or unlocked.

If they can do it, and get away with it, then, by default, YOU might pull a fast one on them!

"Trust everyone, but cut the cards anyway." --Peter Dunne

With friends, this is a very true statement.

Why?

Because they, of all people, think they KNOW you. They think they have taken your measure, figured out what your strengths and weaknesses are, and can anticipate, counter, and strike with the most accurate of precision, burying the blade deep, as it were, if they so desired.

"But, Frost...!" I hear you protest, you shouldn't have to be on guard from your friends...especially your best friend! I would say that I believed the same for nearly 4 decades.

I have a number of friends.

I also do not use the word lightly.

I did not keep up a guard, did not create a mask, had no maze of smoke and mirrors for them to get lost in, gazing at reflections of their own character and seeing me as the same, a spiritual chameleon.

I'm a dick like that.

I am what I am, plain and simple. Deal with it, or not, it doesn't matter, because I am not going to transform into something alien to me just to make you feel a little more comfortable about your world illusions.

Fact is, though...your friends...especially your BEST friend...has knowledge of you that no one else usually has. Your weaknesses, your predictability. Straight up? THEY KNOW YOU.

Yet each man kills the thing he loves
..The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword."  --Oscar Wilde

But what is it that you know about your friends?

Truly?

Do you know the details of their lives before you co-existed?

Can you predict how they will act, or what they will do with ease?

Are you sure...?

What if... just for giggles...take a moment and consider this with me...what if while you are being honest and open and forthright...they are giving you the smoke and mirrors?

"A true friend stabs you in the front." --Oscar Wilde